Yours is a Very Bad Hotel

A graphic complaint prepared for:
Joseph Crosby
General Manager
Lisa Rinker
Front Desk Manager
DoubleTree Club Hotel
2828 Southwest Freeway
Houston, Texas

In the Early Morning Hours of.November 15, 2001, at the DoubleTree Club Houston, We Were Treated Very Badly Indeed.

• We are Tom Farmer and Shane Atchison of Seattle, Washington.

• We held guaranteed, confirmed reservations at the DoubleTree Club for the night of November 14-15.

• These rooms were held for late arrival with a major credit card.

• Tom is a card-carrying Hilton HHonors Gold VIP…

• Yet when we arrived at 2:00am… we were refused rooms!

Refused Rooms… Even When We’re.“Confirmed” and “Guaranteed”?

• Mike, your Night Clerk, said the only rooms left were off-limits because their plumbing and air-conditioning had broken!

• He’d given away the last good rooms three hours ago!

• He’d done nothing about finding us accommodation elsewhere!

• And he was deeply unapologetic!

Quotations from Night Clerk Mike

“Most of our guests don’t arrive at two o’clock in the morning.”
-- 2:08 am, November 15, 2001
Explaining why it was OUR fault that the DoubleTree Club could not honor our guaranteed reservation

We Discussed With Mike the Meaning of the Term “Guarantee.”

guar·an·tee, n.
Something that assures a particular outcome or condition: Lack of interest is a guarantee of failure.
A promise or an assurance, especially one given in writing, that attests to the quality or durability of a product or service.
A pledge that something will be performed in a specified manner.

Mike Didn’t Much Care.

• He seemed to have been betting that we wouldn’t show up.

• When we suggested that the least he should have done was line up other rooms for us in advance… Mike bristled!

Quotations from Night Clerk Mike

“I have nothing to apologize to you for.”
-- 2:10 am, November 15, 2001
Explaining why we were wrong to be upset that our “guaranteed” rooms weren’t saved for us

The Career Path of Night Clerk Mike.(He peaked last week.)

Graphic showing Mike's career path, starting out at the bottom as a paper boy (1985), rising to Subway Sandwich Maker (1995), topping out as Rude Hotel Clerk (2001), falling to McDonald's Sandwich Maker (2004) and back to the bottom again as Septic Tank Cleaner (2014).

Mike Wasn’t Too Optimistic About.Finding Us a Place to Sleep.

• 2:15 in the morning is a heck of a time to start looking for two spare hotel rooms!

• Mike slowly started dialing around town.

Quotations from Night Clerk Mike

“I don’t know if there ARE any hotel rooms around here… all these hotels are full.”
-- 2:12 am, November 15, 2001
Just starting to look for alternate accommodation for us, even though he’d filled his own house up by 11:00pm

Mapped Against Other Hospitality Providers, Your DoubleTree Club Fared Badly on November 15, 2001.

Chart showing different hotel chains and airlines measured against two critera along an X and Y axis, creating four quadrants as follows:

• "Growth Oriented" and "Treats Customers Well": Sheraton, Four Seasons

• "Growth Oriented" and "Despises and Mistreats Customers": Super 8, Kabul Youth Hostel

• "Heading for Collapse" and "Treats Customers Well": Singapore Airlines

• "Heading for Collapse" and "Despises and Mistreats Customers": Iran Air, DoubleTree

Mike Finally Found Us Rooms Here.

Graphic showing the Shoney's logo.

• Shoney’s Inn & Suites is a dump.

• It is six miles further away from downtown Houston, which makes a difference in morning rush-hour traffic.

• Had we wanted to stay at Shoney’s, we would have called them in the first place.

• We could only get smoking rooms.

The Experience Mike Provided Deviated from Usual Treatment of an HHonors Gold Member.

Expected HHonors Gold Member Benefits

• Confirmed reservation

• Upgraded room when available

• Free continental breakfast

• HHonors points plus frequent-flyer miles

Actual Benefits Provided by DoubleTree Club 11/15

• Ignored reservation

• No room available

• Free confusing directions to shabby alternate hotel

• Insolence plus insults

Even After We Left the DoubleTree Club, Our Troubles Weren’t Over, as This Timeline Shows.

Jon, a colleague, was arriving in Houston on an overnight flight and coming to join us at the DoubleTree Club first thing in the morning. As we had to go stay elsewhere, we wrote Jon a note and left it in care of Mike the Night Clerk.

Flow chart graphic showing how Mike the Night Clerk lost the note and caused Jon to panic and not be able to find the authors right away.

We Are Very Unlikely to Return to the.DoubleTree Club Houston.

• Lifetime chances of dying in a bathtub: 1 in 10,455 (National Safety Council)

• Chance of Earth being ejected from the solar system by the gravitational pull of a passing star: 1 in 2,200,000 (University of Michigan)

• Chance of winning the UK Lottery: 1 in 13,983,816 (UK Lottery)

• Chance of us returning to the DoubleTree Club Houston: worse than any of those

• (And what are the chances you’d save rooms for us anyway?)

Revenue Lost to the DoubleTree Club.Houston as a Result of our November 15 Incident

Chart showing 2001 and 2002 travel expenditures by the authors' firm:

2001:

• Dollars spent at all Houston hotels: $12,000

• Dollars spent at DoubleTree: Less than $2,000

2002:

• Dollars spent at all Houston hotels: $18,000

• Dollars spent at DoubleTree: $0

We’ll Be Sending This Presentation.to Promus Properties.

• And to some friends.

• We hope they’ll share it with their friends!

• If you’d like a hard copy, email us at: BearX220@hotmail.com.

• Good luck!

• And give our best to Mike!