You Never Know

Before you get too hot and bothered about the NFL draft this weekend (not that I’ll be paying attention, not with the Cowboys not having a pick) it is instructive to look at the first round of the draft 10 years ago (formatting courtesy Wikipedia)

Pick # NFL Team Player Position College
1 Cleveland Browns Tim Couch Quarterback Kentucky
My comment: You can’t blame the Browns for taking the best QB off the board, but you can blame them for not finding someone to block for him.
2 Philadelphia Eagles Donovan McNabb Quarterback Syracuse
My comment: Did the Eagles make the right call here? Wasn’t the popular decision at the time, of course, but does it look any better ten years later? I say no, but it’s hard to say that they should have taken someone else.
3 Cincinnati Bengals Akili Smith Quarterback Oregon
My comment: Oopsie.
4 Indianapolis Colts Edgerrin James Running Back Miami (FL)
My comment: Easily the best pick of 1999, not least because the Colts passed up Ricky.
5 New Orleans Saints (From Carolina Panthers via Washington Redskins) Ricky Williams [2] Running Back Texas
My comment: I loved watching Ricky Williams run in college; there never was a better back. I think Ditka was 100% right in moving up to draft him here, but you have to do better due diligence on the total package than what happened here.
6 St. Louis Rams Torry Holt Wide Receiver NC State
My comment: Seven Pro Bowls and a likely HOF candidate.
7 Washington Redskins (From Chicago Bears) Champ Bailey Cornerback Georgia
My comment: Will be remembered a lot more for the Clinton Portis trade.
8 Arizona Cardinals (From San Diego Chargers) David Boston Wide Receiver Ohio State
My comment: You can call him a bust, but wasn’t anybody really going to help those Cardinals.
9 Detroit Lions Chris Claiborne Linebacker USC
My comment: Buzzard luck for the Lions again.
10 Baltimore Ravens Chris McAlister Defensive Back Arizona
My comment: Exactly the kind of pick you want to make – somebody that can contribute for a championship team.
11 Minnesota Vikings (From Washington Redskins) Daunte Culpepper Quarterback Central Florida
My comment: Anything you say, really, is kind of a backhanded compliment. He played longer than you’d think considering the size he was. He wasn’t no Akili Smith. He’ll always be remembered, unlike a lot of other guys on this list. Probably the greatest Central Florida player ever in the NFL. You see what I mean.
12 Chicago Bears (From New Orleans Saints via Washington Redskins) Cade McNown Quarterback UCLA
My comment: Poor Jay Cutler, you just know something bad is going to happen to him.
13 Pittsburgh Steelers Troy Edwards Wide Receiver Louisiana Tech
My comment: Wasn’t all his fault; he hardly seemed to get on the field.
14 Kansas City Chiefs John Tait Tackle Brigham Young
My comment: Anonymous, played a lot of games for a non-contender. Not the sort of career that you dream for yourself, but better than Akili Smith.
15 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Anthony McFarland Defensive Tackle LSU
My comment: Booger. Heh.
16 Tennessee Titans Jevon Kearse Defensive End Florida
My comment: Like the previous pick, when in doubt, go for the guy with the cool nickname.
17 New England Patriots (From Seattle Seahawks) Damien Woody Center Boston College
My comment: On second thought, there are some people who shouldn’t have cute nicknames at all.
18 Oakland Raiders Matt Stinchcomb Tackle Georgia
My comment: Currently a partner in a financial services firm. Just sayin’.
19 New York Giants Luke Petitgout Tackle Notre Dame
My comment: “False start, number seventy-seven, offense. Five-yard penalty, repeat third down.” Love it Love. It.
20 Dallas Cowboys (From New England Patriots via Seattle Seahawks) Ebenezer Ekuban Defensive End North Carolina
My comment: God damn Jerry Jones’s sorry soul to hell.
21 Arizona Cardinals L.J. Shelton Tackle Eastern Michigan
My comment: Not a bad pick here; someone who was a decent competitor at a hard-to-fill position and is still playing.
22 Seattle Seahawks (From Dallas Cowboys) Lamar King Defensive End Saginaw Valley State
My comment: Easily the worst Wikipedia entry this far in the first round.
23 Buffalo Bills Antoine Winfield Defensive Back Ohio State
My comment: Easily the best pick in the lower third of the draft.
24 San Francisco 49ers (From Miami Dolphins) Reggie McGrew Defensive Tackle Florida
My comment: Meh.
25 Green Bay Packers Antuan Edwards Defensive Back Clemson
My comment: Couldn’t stay healthy.
26 Jacksonville Jaguars Fernando Bryant Defensive Back Alabama
My comment: Solid career, certainly nothing for anyone to apologize about.
27 Detroit Lions (From San Francisco 49ers via Miami Dolphins) Aaron Gibson Tackle Wisconsin
My comment: Set record for heaviest NFL player ever, which is probably all you need to know.
28 New England Patriots (From New York JetsTraded to Pats, along with 97 3rd and 4th Round, and 98 2nd Rounder for Bill Parcells.) Andy Katzenmoyer Linebacker Ohio State
My comment: Neck injury; not much you can do with a neck injury.
29 Minnesota Vikings Dimitrius Underwood Defensive End Michigan State
My comment: Even less you can do with chronic untreated mental illness (from an NFL perspective, I mean).
30 Atlanta Falcons Patrick Kerney Defensive End Virginia
My comment: Went to Princeton Day School, which is near my house. Huh. Other than that, I have little to add.
31 Denver Broncos Al Wilson Linebacker Tennessee
My comment: Chose to retire rather than play for the 2008 Lions, showing superior intellectual ability.

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