LeBron’s Hierarchy of Needs
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010What more does LeBron James want? How many yachts can he water-ski behind? What else is there – fame, fortune, championships – that he could possibly want? He has more money than God, access to any sort of beautiful woman he would like, worldwide status, a Nike contract, and… well, the mind boggles.
LeBron is very high up on what we might call the hierarchy of needs. There isn’t any material thing that he would reasonably want that he couldn’t get with the money he has. The question he must face is this: what does he value most? What does he truly want next for himself? The answer to that question determines where he will go.
CHAMPIONSHIP – If what LeBron truly wants is a championship, he should sign with the Los Angeles Lakers. They are, after all, the NBA champions. Stands to reason that LeBron would make them better. This would involve sacrificing a lot of money (the Lakers don’t have the cap room for a LeBron contract) and ego (because LeBron wouldn’t be the lead dog). But if all he wants is a ring, the Lakers are the place to go – and the creature comforts of Los Angeles aren’t bad, either.
EGO – If LeBron wants to feed his ego, he should sign with the New York Knicks, for the obvious reasons. The Knicks are awful, and won’t be able to get that much better for awhile. He would be the straw that stirs the drink, the big fish in the big pond, the Toast of New York. And that would be about it.
MONEY – If LeBron is just about making the max dollars he can make, he’s looking at the New Jersey Nets, whose Russian billionaire owner can shovel largess his way. The Nets are, if anything, more woeful than the Knicks (to whom they play second banana). LeBron will win no championships in Jersey, will get fewer endorsements, etc. But he will go home and sleep on a mattress made of rubles every night. You know, if he wants to.
TRADITION – LeBron could, of course, sign with the Boston Celtics, but there’s no reason to do so other than continuing the greatness of the Celtic tradition – that, and it would make Bill Simmons’s head explode. There’s that.
COMFORT – If LeBron were to sign with the Dallas Mavericks, he would be guaranteed the cushiest locker in the league, his own private helicopter – basically, every amenity that there is, right down to having Mark Cuban serve as his own personal valet. And nobody would expect him to win anything, because it’s the Mavericks.
RIVALRY – Los Angeles Clippers? Doesn’t make sense to me, either, except he’d be fighting Kobe every step of the way for dominance. If that’s what he wants, more power to him.
LOYALTY – There isn’t a better reason to sign with the Cleveland Cavaliers. But there’s no such thing as loyalty anymore, and the first person to tell me that was you, Jerry Maguire.
LEADERSHIP – If LeBron wants to lead a young team, with a great player under his wings, he could do a lot worse than the Oklahoma City Thunder. But if “mentoring Kevin Durant” outweighs “living in a place where Oklahoma football is the greatest cultural attraction,” then LeBron is more of a man than anyone would have thought.
FASHION – Those new unis for the Golden State Warriors look sharp.
LEGACY – The smart basketball move would be, probably, LeBron going to the Chicago Bulls. But to make that work, long-term, LeBron would have to win seven titles to surpass Michael Jordan. Difficult, but not impossible. (And it would break hearts in Cleveland for generations, so there’s that.)
THE CHANCE TO PLAY GOLF WITH TIGER WOODS – The Orlando Magic.
THE CHANCE TO PLAY GOLF WITH MICHAEL JORDAN – The Charlotte Hornets.
THE CHANCE TO PLAY BLACKJACK WITH MICHAEL JORDAN AND TIGER WOODS – The Sacramento Las Vegas Kings.
ALTRUISM – What would be a better statement of LeBron’s values than taking the NBA minimum to play for the New Orleans Hornets and helping to rebuild the city? Nothing. Nothing at all. Not that he’ll do it, mind you, but it would be nice. Same rationale goes for the Detroit Pistons and lots of other depressed places you could think of.
POWER – Let’s say LeBron signed with the Washington Wizards, and, say, got an internship during the off-season with some Senator or other, and learned the ropes of politics at the same time he brought a championship to the District… well… I mean, if he were interested, if his mind went in that direction… nah.
FOOD – Lots of good places to eat in San Antonio. And Memphis. And Atlanta.
ICE FISHING – Or curling. They have both of those in Minnesota.
Realistically, it doesn’t matter to me that much what he does, only that it be done quickly. But the decision will tell us a lot about the man.